- Enlisting the help of a relationship expert, we’ve composed red flags to watch for that may indicate your unfaithful spouse is likely to cheat again.
1. Is your partner willing to do the work to heal the relationship?
How willing your partner is to manage the aftershocks of their behaviour is a key indicator as to how likely they are — or aren’t — planning on cheating again. Alsyon Jones explains, “A person who has a history of lies and deception in relationships is much more likely to cheat again than the person who has shown remorse and is able to do the hard work to rebuilt trust.” These celebrities survived cheating and stayed together.
2. How much stock does your partner put into being honest, in general?
How honest is your partner in areas outside of the relationship? According to Alyson Jones, this could be a reflection of the amount of stock they put into their transparency within the relationship, explaining, “If your partner approaches truth in an “elastic” manner in other areas of their life, they may be able to do this in their intimate relationship with you, as well.”
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3. If your partner cannot reassure you of their “good behaviour”, past or present
Once a person cheats, it is their responsibility to ensure that they are creating a safe space for their partner to heal, and exercising patience in the journey to regain that partners’ trust. “If your partner cannot give you the verbal reassurance you need and be open about their past or present behaviours, they may be cheating again,” says Alyson Jones.
4. If your partner is “gaslighting” you
A term often used in therapy to identify situations in which one person deflects from a subject by turning the blame or anger toward the person questioning them, this is another red flag to watch for when suspicious of your partner’s behaviours. Alyson Jones explains, “If your partner is acting in a “gaslighting” manner — which means they dismiss your concerns by calling you paranoid and speak with intense conviction and outrage when you question them – this is a sign that they are deflecting and avoiding personal responsibility.” This behaviour, notes Alyson, could also be one of the signs of an affair.
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